Fighting Bieber Fever and the musical herpes known as Ke$ha: A mix CD for “Abbs”

Before I begin there are a couple of things I have to disclose. First, I’m often accused of being a music snob. Second, I form fairly strong judgments about people based on their musical interests. As I look at those sentences I can see how the latter justifies the former, but before I digress any further I need to get to the heart of this thing.

Recently I received a text message from my friend Kat that said, “hey abbs asks if u will make her a mix cd?” “Abbs” is Abbey, her 14 year-old daughter, who had enjoyed one of the compilation CD’s I had previously made for her mother. Sharing music is something that brings me immense happiness and when I do this it’s an act of endearment reserved for an elite few. Actually people rarely ask me to make them a cd…usually its just something I force on them, so when someone does ask its somewhat of a heady experience.

Immediately my mind was alert and the reality of it all began to sink in. I was going to play a role in the shaping of a young musical mind. This was my chance to fight back against Justin Bieber, Ke$ha and the resulting brain damage that top 40 radio is currently responsible for. This was my opportunity to play the role of a Jedi master. For a few moments I was powerfully intoxicated over the prospect of this but just like any drug the comedown came quickly and panic set in.

I had no idea what to put on this CD. I had been given some loose, marginally ambiguous parameters in a subsequent text stating: “pretty much anything, especially acoustic stuff. she just says no heavy metal stuff and if any country it has to be really good.” I began to mentally sort through my iTunes library and eliminated 80 percent of it right off the bat over the whole “no heavy metal stuff” thing. Not that heavy metal comprises the bulk of the catalog but the term tends to be subjective with most people so I opted to avoid it all together. Country was not an issue because most of it is devoid of any real intrinsic value with the exception of artists like Hank Williams, and she was just too young and not experienced enough in heartbreak to really get him.

After brooding for a while a calm gradually came over me. I realized I did not have to provide the sole musical education for this child, just merely supplement it with some grace notes. I know her parents, and they both have exceptional musical taste, so it was comforting knowing I was not going to have cover the basics like Bob Dylan, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. A firm foundation had no doubt been laid and would be built on for years to come.

I gave myself some ground rules:

1. Avoid songs with profanity (Singer-songwriters actually use F%!k more often than you would think in their lyrics)

2. Avoid heavily emotional stuff (Don’t want the girl to end up on a ledge or become a cutter or anything like that)

3. Try to stick with obscure stuff or alternate versions of songs to make it a fresh experience.

After some deliberation Abbey’s Mix went as follows:

Everlong (Acoustic Version) – Foo Fighters
Hiding – Meiko
To Be Alone With You – Sufjan Stevens
Misery Business (Acoustic Version) – Paramore
Angel In The Snow – Elliott Smith
Wedding Bells – Lissie
Pretty (Ugly Before) – Elliott Smith
Fake Plastic Trees (Radiohead Cover) – Lori McKenna
Rain King (Slow Version – Live) – Counting Crows
Piano Song – Meiko
California – Phantom Planet
Blonde on Blonde – Nada Surf
The Heartache Can Wait – Brandi Carlile
Prayer of Saint Francis – Sarah McLachlan
We’re Going to Be Friends – The White Stripes
I’ll Back You Up (Live) – Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Lay Me Down – The Dirty Heads
Crush (Live) – Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Long December – Counting Crows
Into The Mystic (Van Morrison Cover) – The Wallflowers


Final Note:

This playlist is a proven tonic to fight Bieber fever and musical herpes. Use liberally and often after first signs of an outbreak appear….